well...things have certainly been...interesting the past few days...its hard to discern what is truth and what people are just saying cause its what i want to hear. i moved home and that's a huge relief...all the negative energy in that house, even if the bitch didn't live there i wouldnt have been able to stay...9 mos of being mostly miserable...finally i think its over...i have been happy, like overjoyed for almost the past month...it started with sarah's visit and its just been sort of compounding into this big ball of semi contentment...theres just two things that are giving me a sense of unease...people being too nice maybe? i feel too good that something has to be wrong about things? i dont know how to describe it. i just feel maybe i am (once again) setting up myself up for the fall. i think i trust people too much...and am blind to their forked tongues. we'll see. i want to believe in the inherent goodness in others, but there's been too many times that i've been stabbed in the back by the people i trusted the most. i suppose that means i am just a poor judge of character. i really dont think i am, i think that the problem is i want to love and to nurture and mother all of my friends, and when i dont get back all that i give-emotionally, time, financially...pouring my heart out it just kills me i always become the doormat people wipe their feet on.