[a n t i j a m s e c t]

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08.10.01

dream:

at b's house, hanging out, he is sitting on the roof and i am talking to him out the window. the phone rings, it is a girl, J, i don't know her but i know of her, i put it on speaker, a good friend of b's. she wants to know who i am, since she has heard about me from b. we are all talking, i start to not pay attention and i guess i ask about something she already talked about. J gets very angry and starts screaming at me over the phone, b goes back out the window to sit on the roof. J screaming at me upsets me a lot for some reason. i hang up on her. i go out the window to sit on the roof with b. he is telling me things, not sure why he is the messenger, but what he is telling me makes me cry. i fall onto b just sobbing.

the next thing i remember b and i are driving in my car, but the car is white, to my parents house. i pull into the garage, i get hysterical. my mom is there, my father, and my youngest brother, who is freaking out and is smahing my car hitting it, breaking the windows glass is shattering everywhere, the noise is awful. i get out of the car and am screaming at him to stop it, but he wont. my dad tries to pull him off of the car. i watch as my brother begins to brutally beat my father, hitting him over the head with some blunt object. my father falls to the floor of the garage and i run to stop his head from hitting the concrete. my brother throws whatever he used at the car, i am screaming, b is just there, i dont know why, i think my dad was probably dead, and my brother sees me and i have never felt so scared in my whole entire life, and then i wake up.

i have no idea what this means, but i wsa completely paralysed with fear when i woke up.

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