curled in a ball. staring at screens. face wet, smeared with black.
sensory deprivation.
* * *
my skin has gotten really sensitive. brushing up against people its electrical. getting my hair cut yesterday ws nearly orgasmic. head scratch, fingers in hair, contact. i dont get enough. if you think about it, how often do you touch other people? i hardly. i get close, i try, but am afraid, no one seems comfortable. i'm near you close to
everyone, in feet and inches synapse fire from my fingers but never make it over the bridge.
not touching people affectionately regularly since about july has a strange effect. touching is becomming some sort of taboo. like when i brush people or punch their arms or it happens to me when i am work, or outside, i get a little rush, i can feel the energy transfer. shocks.
i want people(friends) i can touch
who will sit on the same couch as me
that will hold my hand
let me nap in their lap.
dance with me
put their hands on my face and smile. i miss 812crew bloomington ( S, R, and D).
i think about what i will do when i find a boy that likes me.
hours and hours and hours of touch fingers to lips and nails on backs and hands in hair. tracing every outline.
until the tingle leaves my fingers.
when i find these, then, i think, i will feel better.