i miss the way you curl into my back, the way your left arm slides over my hip and up to my chest. i miss my hand curving over yours and holding. i miss waking up stuck together because we've stayed in the same position all night. i miss feeling your heartbeat through the back of my rib cage, matching my own, falling asleep to that and the rhythm of your breathing.
sleep here is cold and lonely even when the bed is warm. with three blankets and three pillows i wrap myself around myself and close my eyes. sometimes sleep comes and sometimes it doesn't. most days i wake up feeling like i didn't sleep at all when at least eight hours passed. and what it all comes down to is this: i don't want to sleep without you anymore.